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However, time after time, unfaithful partners say ‘I don’t know’ or come up with such general answers that their partner gets exasperated, angry and fear for the future of their relationship.However, it can easily backfire because we’ll do anything to avoid shame and feel better again – and in many cases, this will include your partner contacting the affair partner again (as he or she is someone who will understand, confirm he or she is ‘not a bad person’ and give a feel good boost of more cheap sex) People have affairs because they can’t communicate their unhappiness or a feeling of unfairness about their lot.They think there are only two options: put up and shut up or leave the relationship.In order to have risked so much, it must have been really important – i.e. And if you’re in love, you remember and cherish every look gesture and memory.
This is most toxic of all feelings and we will do anything to avoid it – because shame is the opposite of love.
I’m glad you feel shame perhaps you won’t do it again.