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It was my first date with the curly-haired brunette — a traveling saleswoman for a cigarette company — I’d met a few nights before at a house party, and I had standard pre-date jitters, nothing more.Suddenly, I sensed a tightness in my stomach wending its way up my esophagus toward my throat.The first time I threw up on a date, I had just eaten a big bowl of chili.It was a mistake I will never make again, though I’m not sure that matters now.The end of the date, the climax of romantic uncertainty, neared.

“Once I have been on several dates with the person I am usually okay and will not vomit or feel sick to my stomach,” they say, “but up until then I can't eat on a date without having to get up and vomit, or barely eating anything and trying to hide the fact that I am gagging from them. I am going on a second date with somebody tonight and I have already thrown up once. But I don’t think you need to be a Mad Men–level chauvinist to be stressed out over modern dating.I was in college at the time, 22 years old, and new to romance.I remember feeling fine as I strolled down my favorite Montreal backstreet en route to the nearby microbrewery on a warm summer afternoon.Courtship these days is disorienting, as anyone who’s logged onto to Tinder for 30 seconds knows intimately.

There’s the total lack of urgency, the seemingly unlimited options, the disparity between your online presence and the reality of you in person, the changing roles of men and women.

There was nothing, I realized, I could do to stop it.

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