I lost my sponsor (understandably so) because she and her husband whom she met in Alanon broke up.It has been a little difficult for those of us who shared their common meetings.Taking advantage of those new to recovery, hurting and needing to trust, is wrong.Two free people finding that they have most in common with those who share such an important part of their lives, could be right. I do not need that kind of living hell in my life- that choice could make the only safe family I know become instantly weird to my distorted mind.13th stepping is taking advantage and is a very sick thing to do. She took advantage of the fact that I was new to Alanon, and wasn't far enough in my recovery to know any better. 13 stepping is taken advantage of someone vulnerable. It gets deeper and I feel for you Norwood cause it also happened to me.((((((((Maria))))))), Hubby had an experience of 13 stepping when he went to his AA home group. It's one of the reasons they suggest that sponsor and sponsee be of the same sex. A 13th step is an attempt to find peace and serenity with a sexual relationship with another member.This woman broke his anonymity at meetings, use to call me up and tell me what he was doing when he was at meetings.(Shetook great delight in telling methat she saw him at the halfway house.)She called my father in law to tell him that he was drinking again! Trying to get the spritual from the physical and emotional high of a sexual relationship.
A mutual relationship that comes out of meeting someone at a meeting is not the same thing. It usually takes you out of the program of recovery because you're really back to "using"..another drug.I know some AA couples - people who got together once they had some time in the program and some good recovery. So, like everything else in life, the answer is - it depends.People stepping out on those they are married or committed to is wrong, I think we'd all agree.I'll just stay home in the family.(((((hugs))))) I've been thinking about this all day.
To me, 13th stepping means pain, as there was some of that in my husband's first year or two of recovery.
This weekend, two of my very dear friends from another one of my meetings are dating now.